Does hearing the phrase "assertive communication" feel a little threatening or daunting? Or, something that feels too uncomfortable to actually execute? I promise it's not as scary as it sounds and nothing like it's cousin aggressive communication. Everyone can learn assertive communication skills that are effective and comfortable, dig in to find yours!
Last week we discussed removing emotion from discussions and that also plays a role in effectively speaking assertively. It will give you the confidence to focus on the issues and keep your tone neutral.
Asking questions is a great technique for several reasons: it engenders trust by expressing interest, it also shows empathy, and allows for you to drill down on the issue which can lead to better decision making while addressing the foundational factors.
Fogging - this is the term used for finding something factual about their perspective you can agree with and then continue with your point.
Body language plays a large role in this as well: make eye contact, keep your body language neutral, keep you head high.
Do not apologize unless you are truly sorry.
Don't contextualize, starting out with an "I think you're really great but," will always sound disingenuous and unkind despite any good intentions.
Speak with efficiency and clarity, practice ahead of time if you need to.
Stick to your point with calmness even if you sound like a broken record.
Don't be afraid to engage in some self-disclosure about how you feel/think about the other person's information.
Be willing to compromise as long as your self-respect remains intact, this goes a long way in building future capital.
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